


What We’ve Become

by BurningSwan



Series: What We Cannot Have [6]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Break Up, Confusion, Falling In Love, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 13:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12343881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningSwan/pseuds/BurningSwan
Summary: It’s comfortable, but it’s not the same. Since when had he started thinking this way? Since when had his feelings begun to change?





	What We’ve Become

His hand is warm. He thought it would be cold. 

But he had thought a lot of things before, and one by one, he was beginning to change his mind.

Izaya stared at him, face blank, though his eyes somewhat betrayed his confusion, betrayed that he wanted to pull away and not confront things.

"Let go." His voice is tense, a little shaky Shizuo realizes after having been near the flea for so long. 

He really had begun to notice things about Izaya he hadn't before. Especially his vulnerability that he had tried to bury for so long behind mask upon mask. 

It's comfortable, but it's not the same. He notices that there is a difference between his feelings for Vorona and his feelings towards Izaya. He also knows that his feelings are changing.

He notices Namie watching them silently and when he shoots her a somewhat questioning glance, she shrugs, waving a hand and returning to her work. 

Her constant, silent presence is both a comfort as well as a bother. 

He finally complies with Izaya's request, regrets it when the warmth slips away from him and Izaya pulls his hand back to his chest protectively. Shizuo hates it, the distance he seems unable to cross. He can't seem to ever be able to pull out the real Izaya for long enough.

There are times that he can, though they are short and fleeting. A real, small smile. A twinkle in his eye. A genuine laugh. Small things that Shizuo has noticed the longer he spends with the flea.

His chest warms every time.

It's different, he knows, from when Vorona smiles at him. When she laughs with him. 

It's something more, and it gnaws at him.

He will have to do something eventually, sometime soon.

He feels guilty, but it stings knowing that she will probably just accept it in that impassive way of hers. 

Izaya stands, turning away.

"When are you leaving?" He asks, the latter half of his question left to silence.

When are you going back to her? 

Shizuo shakes his head, standing also, places a hand on Izaya's shoulder. Izaya turns to look at him inquisitively.

"I'm not leaving you." He answers, and Izaya frowns, opens his mouth to say something, but Shizuo cuts him off by pressing his lips to Izaya's. Izaya stiffens, eyes widening and conflicted feelings fight inside him before he gives in.

It doesn't last.

Izaya pushes Shizuo away, wiping a hand across his lips.

"I'm not her," he hisses. "I'm not Vorona."

Shizuo sighs.

"I know. I didn't think you were." Shizuo replies, pondering how to proceed. Just how could he fix this properly. 

Izaya pointedly avoids looking at him.

Shizuo turns to Namie, who just blinks at him calmly.

"Go on. She's been waiting for you," Namie paused, tilting her head towards Izaya. "He'll be waiting for when you get back."

Shizuo nodded.

"Izaya," no response. "I'm going to tell her."

Still no answer.

"Izaya, I don't love her. I don't feel that way towards her, you made me realize that." When he still receives no comment from Izaya, he leaves.

———

Izaya stares at the floor, trying to process everything.

He whirls towards Namie.

"What does he mean? What did that mean?" He demands.

Namie sighs, resisting the urge to shrug.

"Maybe that he loves someone else. He is going to break up with her, with Vorona." Namie answers.

Izaya froze.

"He loves someone else...?" Izaya repeats, heart racing.

Namie shrugs.

"Maybe." She says, lifting up her mug and taking a casual sip. 

Silence falls for a while as Izaya tries to figure out what the unpredictable Shizuo is planning.

A few moments later, one of his phones rings.

He answers the phone.

"She knew. I didn't even get to tell her." 

Shizuo sounds tired.

"You mean it, then? You really..." Izaya trailed off, not wanting to hope.

"Yeah, I love you, Izaya."

Izaya sobbed.

"Mm, I love you too."

"I'm coming to see you, Izaya."

"I'll be waiting." He breathes, his chest tightening with joy. 

It's so hard to believe, but it's true.

He quickly wipes away his tears, spotting out of the corner of his eye what he thinks is a semblance of a smile on Namie's face before it's gone, replaced by a bored look.

"Congratulations, Izaya. Aren't you glad now that I saved you?" She queries.

Izaya rolled his eyes at her.

"I didn't need you to save me." He insists.

———

When Shizuo comes back, he holds open his arms.

Izaya rushes over to him and hugs him, burying his face into his chest.

"You're an idiot, protozoan. You could have been happy with her." Izaya mumbles.

"No, my happiness is with you." Shizuo replies, gazing down at the flea with a smile.

Izaya meets his gaze, a small smile crossing his own lips.

"I'm the idiot for loving an idiot like you." He laughs, shaking his head.

"No, you're not. I'm the idiot for making you wait." Shizuo counters, pressing his face into Izaya's hair.

"I would have waited forever if I knew I had this chance." He breathes, still having trouble believing this was real, even with Shizuo right there before him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Izaya. Please forgive me."

"I already did."

———

Namie sighs, shaking her head as she watches the two, faint amusement dusting her face.

She would never admit that this scene had had any affect on her. Nope, not ever.

She hid a smile behind her mug.

'Mission success.' She texted Shinra.

———

"Thank you, Namie." Shizuo tells her one day.

"For what?" She queries.

"Dunno. Just wanted to thank you I guess."

"Hmm. You better be careful though. You might make a certain someone jealous."

Shizuo smiles.

"I don't know about that." He says.

"Speaking of, you haven't heard from her recently?"

Shizuo winced, looking away as he took out a cigarette, lighting it absentmindedly.

"Well, it won't be the last of her..." He mumbled, scratching his cheek.

"Meaning?"

"Well, I can't imagine she's done with me yet." Shizuo sighed, exhaling a breath of smoke.

Namie pinched the bridge of her nose.

So trouble was still coming.

Well, it might be interesting to see how Izaya deals with it. As long as it doesn't get too extreme like last time.

That would be a pain.

**Author's Note:**

> See, I said I could write Shizaya fluff! I did it, woo! 
> 
> Namie is so fun to write in this series. 
> 
> The end is foreshadowing for the next part, which may or may not be the last part in this series, I don’t know yet.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> ~BurningSwan


End file.
